The contrast of what has been up until now, the cause of anxiety and trauma for me, was a peaceful stillness of compassion and knowing.
The combination of genetics, poor diet and candy sent me to the dentists’ chair more than once.
It became a frequent flyer situation as it seemed every time I went for a cleaning, I had the dreaded cavity.
I was an active little kid, full of energy. But, as time moved on and more dental work was done the correlation to my health problems are too noticable to too take a second glance.
I played basketball in High school, but always struggled with being able to run and keep my stamina.
Apparently I was wise beyond my years, so the time came to take out my wisdom teeth; all 4 at one time.
It was an excruciatingly painful process and I got sick for about a week recovering.
All seemed well, and life moved on.
But, the chronic fatigue continued.
I was eventually diagnosed with fibromyalgia after many trips to doctors to try to figure out why my hands were always cold, why I couldn’t move without pain and why I had chest pain.
I continued having more dental issues, needing more fillings, replacing old filling, several crowns and a root canal.
Each dental experience became more stressful and intensely nerve-wracking for me.
I would have to have nitrous oxide even for teeth cleanings.
One of my last dental nightmares consisted of the dentist doing 3 crowns at once, then filing them all down flat as pancakes.
I did not know which way to turn for the beat course of action to fix my botched teeth and fix the ones still needing repair.
Three years went by…
I finally decided to consult with a recommmended dentist.
He was very nice and told me I needed a lot of work (over $10,000 worth).
I tried to muster up the courage to go down the porcelain road.
My first appt to begin the work was made and I took a deep breath, because I so wanted to get better and finally resolve the underlying issues of my poor health.
The day came…
I arranged my schedule and the kids’ to begin the process.
Then, the call came…My dentist had the flu!
This was the first time in my countless dentist visits that my Dr. ever called in sick for me.
I continued to put off rescheduling because my life was just too busy and I just had a feeling this was going to knock me out of the game that I just couldn’t miss!
Meanwhile, my health continued to decline,
The fibromyalgia pain began to intensify.
Getting up in the morning was a grueling task.
My husband continued to get up with my early riser son and my housekeeper came in early to prepare breakfast and lunches and get kids ready for school.
Every place on my body ached down to my bones.
Any workout that had been done, I suffered and paid for every time with intense pain all over.
The headaches began to intensify and my mouth and area around my teeth ached.
Most people had no idea. Perhaps they were on the receiving in of my fluctuating hormones and my irritation from feeling exhausted and overwhelmed, but to look at me;
I looked like the picture of health.
I worked out, was is decent shape, stayed busy and active, but the truth was, I was pushing through the pain and fatigue.
The crushing blow came as my immune system finally buckled under the toxic weight.
However, although I experienced dramatic improvements in my health, my cleanses and diet changes could only take me so far
I have felt the backwards pull to the place I once knew so well.
The place of constant pain, fatigue and instability.
I have known all of my best efforts were only temporary fixes to what was really brewing underneath the surface..
I intuitively just knew not to move forward with my what I felt was going to be extensive dental work.
So, I continued to avoid the dentist and the calls to come back in to start the work.
This, on top of fear and inconvenience kept me from taking care of my issues.
Thankfully, a naturopath was brought into my life who referred me to a biological dentist.
Although almost 2 hours away, I scheduled my appointment and with anticipation and nervousness I went.
Greeted warmly at the door by a man with salt and pepper hair, I recognized Dr. Pana from the Internet research I had done.
I was so nervous and feeling a bit scared as to what he would say about my teeth.
It was the first time I ever felt a dentist truly cared about me and my health and genuinely wanted to and would help me.
He showed me what had been brewing under my white smile that I used to hide the pain.
He pointed out that when my wisdom teeth were extracted when I was 15, they left behind infection. My root canal was also infected, not to mention the enormous amount of mercury that had been there since my early childhood.
He explained what I felt for years and when I tried to tell people, they thought I was grasping at straws.
This information that because of these infections and mercury, my immune system and body had been dealing with this my whole life, sent waves of emotion over me.
Uncontrollable tears welled up from my soul into my eyes and I could feel myself becoming hot.
Although the road ahead to undo years of messed up dental work was explained that it would be at least a 6 month process, traveling almost 2 hours each way every two weeks, plus the ” joy” of the dentist chair, I had a joyful anticipation.
Knowing my trip was long to get back home, I stopped to get a bite to eat a new vegan raw restaurant and as I searched to find it, the sound of newly played Christmas music filled the air and the Southern California mist covered my face.
Tears of Hope mixed with the light raindrops, and I felt the surge of excitement for my new journey.